


Broken Hearts

by lumifuer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Hurt, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 22:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9789365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumifuer/pseuds/lumifuer
Summary: Reader feels cornered by the situation at home and doesn’t know what to do until a mysterious stranger offers a simple words of encouragement.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. This got personal, but you have to excuse me this one time. Carrie Fisher’s quote really spoke to me. I might not call my own writing a form of art, but I always loved creating stories in my head and then pouring them on paper. This kind of activity could always bring me a peace of mind. Inspired by Carrie’s words, I decided to combine my hobby with my biggest weakness and see how it works out. I hope you will like it. I don’t plan on writing a second part unless someone else finds it helpful (if someone does, it will be the greatest thing in the world). I’m still reluctant to share it, but since it’s already written I figured it might be of use.

Ever since I could remember the relationship with my parents wasn’t the easiest one. Sure, I loved them and I was almost certain that the feeling was mutual, but they happened to choose the wrong ways of expressing how much they cared. Or actually, they didn’t really show it at all.

Every fight was leaving me feeling guilty and worthless for days. Whenever I found a new hobby or simply a thing that was making me even remotely happy I couldn’t help but wonder if my mother would approve or consider it just another waste of time.

I was painfully aware of the issue and to be frankly honest, it was making things a lot harder instead of being the first step to solve them. I hated myself for being so weak and dependant, but didn’t want to hurt my parents, so I stayed silent for twenty years of my life.

Then I met him.

It was a cold, winter evening. I was driving around the neighbourhood, looking for something, but not being able to name it. I finally stopped in front of our local bar and decided to give it a shot. It felt as if something was trying to bring me there and since I didn’t know what to do, I decided to listen to my guts. I locked the car and hesitantly headed to the entrance. It was Friday, so the place was filled with old drunk men, yelling to each other over half empty glasses of beer.

I looked around and then laid my eyes on the man sitting on the bar stool, with a bottle of beer in his hands and a wide smile that would probably make my knees weak if I wasn’t so emotionally drained that night. He was flirting with the bartender, using his charm and good looks to get whatever he wanted. Back then I still hadn’t known that it was just another hunting trip. Not sure why, I felt a sharp sting in my chest when she run he fingers trough his hair in a rather playful way. I was too quickly to imagine things and it often resulted in my expectations being crushed in front of my eyes.

I decided to get a drink and then leave as soon as possible. I wasn’t going to just run out of this place and burst into tears. Again.

I came closer and sat on the stool right next to this guy as there were no free seats besides this one. A sudden movement caught his attention and he turned his head to face me, a genuine smile appeared on his lips, lightening up his tired features. I was taken aback by his eyes, emerald-green that I could drown in enhanced by long, dark lashes. But there was something else, deep inside I could see a hidden sadness. Those eyes would rather belong to a man who has lived a hundred years and saw terrible things, not a thirty year old who was taking joy in making the waitress blush. But he seemed to have lost interest in the bartender who didn’t even bother to take an order from me.

“Hey,” he said, leaning in slightly and trying to talk over the obnoxious music that was blasting through the speakers, “Haven’t seen you here yet. Tough day?”

My eyes begun to burn, threatening to tear up at the sudden reminder of the latest argument I had at home. I swallowed hard, trying to keep my mind clean. After all, I was yet another pray for him, he became bored with his last toy, so he changed the source of amusement. I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I couldn’t believe I was ready to wrap my arms around his neck and tell him everything moments ago. After all those years I was still a naive child.

“You could say that,” I replied harshly, trying to break the contact.

I regretted coming to that place. I wasn’t a person who would turn to alcohol when things were getting out of hand. But this day was extremely hard to endure, even for me. I was pushed off edge and probably needed company more than anything else and since I couldn’t count on the people back at home I was at mercy of complete strangers. Stupid idea.

To my surprise, the man wasn’t too overwhelming. He must have noticed that I wasn’t comfortable talking to him and gave up on our little conversation. And I have to admit, I felt hurt, hard to believe given the amount of times people let me down.

He took another sip of beer, then another, all while staring somewhere in the distance, lost in his thoughts. Once he was finished, he placed the battle on the table top and the sound seemed lonely. He took out his wallet and left few banknotes on the counter.

I was trying not to look at him, so when I suddenly felt his touch on my shoulder, I jumped, startled.

“You know what?” he begun, still smiling, but he wasn’t trying to be charming this time, “Whatever it is that you’re dealing with, you can fight it. You got that look on your face.”

I hadn’t expected this kind of remark coming from him. Maybe I was too eager to judge?

“Just don’t give up,” he said, standing up.

He left, not giving me a chance to reply. As soon as his touch was gone, I felt a cold,black void growing in my body. I had no idea it was there to begin with. But its presence was a terrifying reminder of how broken and vulnerable my heart was. It took a simple gesture to fill it with hope for a better tomorrow.

I spent few minutes trying to decide whether he was making fun of my bitter attitude or actually offering an advice. Something was telling me it was the latter.

I got up, forgetting all about the alcohol and the bartender who was trying to kill me with her sight. A new plan already forming in my head, fueled by sudden burst of motivation and new-found hope.

I’ve spent my life thinking that there was no way out, that I was sentenced to this kind of vegetation and should be thankful for what I had, because other people end up with less and suffer much more. That’s what my parents were constantly telling me.

I got in my car and started the engine. I was trying to stop myself from overanalyzing. What ignited this spark of fire in my heart? A stranger? His gentle touch on my shoulder? Overused and meaningless words of encouragement? At that point it seemed enough for me. During those five minutes I’ve spent in his presence I could feel the connection I’ve never experienced with anyone before. It might have been childish, but he did something important, he pushed me off the edge of a cliff that I’ve spent my whole youth on and instead of drowning I was offered a chance. A new life.

* * *

I parked in front of my home and took a deep breath. The sight was painful. No matter how much abuse I’ve been trough, this house was packed with my childhood memories and some of them were nice and felt warm. My grip on the steering heel tightened as doubts made their way into my soul; was I really going to hurt my parents this much? Did they really deserve it? I closed my eyes and the images flooding my mind were enough to answer those questions. I needed to get away, become independent, find a job and then dwell on the past. Maybe find the inner strength to forgive them one day.

I jumped out of the car and ran to the door, my hands shaking as I was trying to pick the right key.

I came inside and found out that the house was empty. On one hand I felt disappointed, because I’ve finally came up with all the things I wanted to tell them, but on the other… leaving wasn’t going to be easy. Maybe their absence was another sign that I was doing the right thing.

I rushed upstairs to my room and shoved all the necessities into my duffel back. I tried to ignore the rest of my things, but as I was walking out I took one last glance at the walls and furniture. ‘New start,’ I reminded myself and shut the door behind me.

There was only one thing to do. I couldn’t leave without a word and calling my parents didn’t seem like a good idea. I found a sheet of paper and wrote a short note. I briefly explained the fact that I need to disappear and asked them to not go looking for me. I knew they wouldn’t anyway. I left it on the kitchen counter and with tears burning my eyes left the place that I’ve spent my entire life in.

* * *

Few hours later, I found myself in the middle of nowhere with no idea where to go or what to do. The night was dark and moon was the only thing tearing through the shadows. Tears were streaming down my face and I couldn’t go on driving forever with no destination in mind.

I walked out and took a deep breath in hopes that fresh air would help me clear my thoughts. The heart was pounding in my chest, threatening to break the ribcage. Anxiety was sneaking right behind my back.

I shoved my hands into the pockets. I didn’t want to subconsciously call anyone and ask for help.

And then I saw something in the distance. Car lights. I gasped, surprised. This road was rarely used and basically lead to nowhere.   
The car was getting closer and even though I should be alarmed, I couldn’t help, but stare at it. Suddenly, it pulled over, right behind my own car. I wiped the tears off my face and prepared to explain that there’s nothing wrong my car and I don’t need help.

The driver walked out, the passenger followed his lead.

I felt a shiver going down my spine. I was pretty sure that my whole escapade and life would end there and then.

“Hey,” the driver shouted. I recognized the voice immediately, “You need any help?”

I waited for him to come closer. When he stopped right in front of me, a kind, wide grin spread across his lips.

“It’s you,” he stated simply and gestured to the other man, “What are you doing out here?”

“Listening to some stranger’s advice,” I replied with a shy smile.

He examined my face, trying to tell if I was telling the truth. In the meantime the other man came over and sent me a welcoming nod.

“So, what’s the next step?” he asked.

“Honestly? I have no clue. You didn’t really provided me with any exact directions,” I laughed. The taller man was becoming more and more confused by our conversation. I shouldn’t be surprised, he had no idea what happened between the two of us in that bar.

“Yeah, sorry about that, but I’ve got an idea,” he said, “We were just coming home, you could stay there for a while and figure out what to do next.”

I stared at him for a while. His companion was surprised at first, but quickly hid it and shrugged as if inviting a complete stranger to their house wasn’t anything out of ordinary.

“How do I know you’re not serial killers?”

They both glanced at each other and smiled, but it was far from twisted and evil grins. It felt like a family interaction, an inside joke which meaning I would understand later.

“You have to trust that we’re not. I’m Dean by the way. We weren’t properly introduced. And this guy right here is my brother, Sammy.”

“Y/N,” I replied, shaking their hands, the bond between me and my future family was already bringing my broken heart back to life. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is forced to face the demons from her past to be able to move on.

I closed the door behind me and sighed heavily dropping the duffle bag on the floor.

"Ugh, I can't wait to get into the shower," I said closing my eyes already imagining the warm streams of water soothing the cuts and bruises on my skin. Washing all the bad stuff away.

"Maybe we should save some water and take a bath together?" Dean winked at me.

"You are so cheap, Winchester," I replied rolling my eyes but I wasn't able to stop the playful smile from appearing on my lips.

We came downstairs and entered the kitchen to grab some snacks since my stomach has been begging me for something to eat for hours.

"Sammy?" Dean called out, "We're back!"

We didn't hear any answer. I shrugged and suggested he might have gone grocery shopping and I could swear Dean's eyes started glowing. He was a five-year-old waiting for his parents to bring home something sweet. And I adored that inner kid.

I was about to head into the bathroom when we both heard footsteps down the hallway. I turned my head and saw Sam. Something was off; he looked ashamed and somehow guilty. He was looking straight at Dean, trying his best to not acknowledge my presence.

"Hey man, what's wrong?" the worry in Dean's voice made my knees weak. He ran up to his brother and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Y/N needs to speak with Cas and ugh, it's not going to be pleasant, I'm sorry."

My heart stopped for a second and my sight became blurry. I had this bad feeling in my gut. I looked at Dean, looking for support but he was just as confused as I was.

Then out of nowhere Castiel appeared right next to me and reached out to touch my forehead. I ducked and took few steps back feeling terror rising inside of my body. The heart was pounding in my chest causing a physical pain forcing me to run as fast as humanly possible.

"What the hell are you doing, Cas?!" Dean lashed out at the angel.

"I have to take her to her parents."

"What?" I said in a faint voice. The blood in my veins froze to stone and I wanted to hide, pretend I wasn't there. Ghosts, monsters, all of these creatures could never do such things to my head, to my heart. But a harmless mention of my parents? I gulped and backed away slowly, hitting the wall with my back, "No, no, you can't Cas."

I was hoping that Dean would help me, explain that I can't go back there. Ever. But he just stood there, looking at me and making up his mind. It was like a nightmare, I opened up to him but he still didn't stand by my side when I needed him.

"Why do they need to see her?" he asked in an irritated voice.

"They are worried about her. They need to know that she is okay," Cas explained as if it was the most simple thing to understand in the whole damn universe. But he would never get close to grasping that idea.

"Worried my ass," I spat out, trying to catch my breath, "They're such amazing actors. I'm not going back, fuck that."

I wasn't waiting for anyone to answer. I ran past them and headed straight into my bedroom. I was trying to hold back the tears but failing miserably. I felt threatened, betrayed and alone. Again. Dean promised that this bunker would be my safe space. That I'm always welcomed here. He took me in when I was in dire need of help and now he's turning on me. Just like everyone else.

I felt like a child crying in my room and trying my best to not fall apart. I wanted to run away. Find some place when no one knows my past and live there, find new people to care about who will in return care about me. But it wasn't so easy.

I heard a knock on the door and even though I didn't answer Dean let himself it.

"Hey, can we talk?"

"I'm not going back," I replied, angry at how my voice was noticeably breaking.

He looked at me and scratched the back of his head. I knew this behavior. He was going to lecture me on something I wasn't willing to listen to.

"Listen, maybe you should just check..."

"Are you seriously with them on that?" I stood up immediately and grabbed the door handle, ready to leave.

"Y/N, please, I don't know what it's like, the whole, uh, relationship with your parents..."

"Exactly," I smiled bitterly, "You have no fucking clue what I had to go through. Not every parent is as loving as your mother, Dean."

It was a low blog, I was aware of that, but it gave me some time to actually get away from him. I didn't stop until I reached the main entrance. The fresh air of the evening cleared my mind enough to concentrate for a second. I checked if I still had a car key in my pocket and without wasting more time jumped into the front seat. I started the engine and drove off. With no clue as to where I should go.

 

I wasn't entirely sure how did I get there. But there I was, observing my childhood home. There was nobody inside. My parents must have been out for a dinner or maybe visiting some friends.

Funny, people always dwell on memories from the earliest days. The seem to be somehow connected to their family house while I couldn't feel a damn thing being this close to the majority of my life.

I checked my phone. Twenty-nine missed calls from Dean. I didn't want to hear his voice, not now. I wanted to ruin something significant again and I couldn't allow myself to wreck my relationship with him. I turned the phone off and tossed it back into my bag.

I closed my eyes for a minute and tried to collect my thoughts. Being alone when my mind was in this weird state was truly dangerous. There were things that I couldn't explain and I didn't even want to share with anyone. I was fine pretending they didn't exist. All those voices--.

A sudden knock on the window made me jump in the seat. I opened my eyes in terror and the sight was even worse.

My father was standing right next to the car, the only thing separating me from his was a thin layer of glass and a bit of metal. He was pointing at something and it took me a while to realize that he wanted me to open the door. I did what he asked, hesitantly getting out of the car. I looked around to check if my mother was there too but luckily she was nowhere to be found. Good.

I had no idea what to say or do. Hugging wasn't really an option, a simple 'hey, what's up' didn't make the cut either. We stood there, face to face for what felt like hours or days even.

"Where have you been?" he asked finally. His voice sounded hollow. It wasn't worried or sad or even betrayed. It was like asking someone for directions.

But with less curiosity.

I shrugged, not sure how to answer that, "Here and there. I'm staying at my friend's house."

"Are you planning to come home soon? Your mother is very worried," he continued dismissing my reply completely, "We have to sit down and have a serious talk."

My heart stopped and I could swear I was getting smaller and smaller.

"I don't-- I won't come back, ever," I heard my own voice. It sounded confident and responsible. Like it should have a long time ago, "I love you both, but I don't think this thing-- our relationship is healthy. Neither for me and you."

He looked down and nodded in shallow agreement. I knew he didn't want to have this conversation, he could be watching TV right now.

"So, ugh, you take care. And maybe write to your mother some day. She worries," he repeated and turned on his heel. He didn't even look back when he was entering the house. I followed the path of lights being turned on inside. Hallway, kitchen, dining room, living room. I could see the blue light of the TV filling the room.

I closed my eyes and got inside the car. That was it. Write us someday. No, no, sorry, write _to your mother_ someday. He didn't care. He tried his best as a dad and it was my fault that I was this way.

I started the engine and drove for hours around the city. I could barely see due to the tears falling down my face. I finally felt like an independent person and I was happy about it. But then again, my parents didn't care. I had to make a peace with the truth.

I subconsciously searched for my phone in the bag and dialed the most recent number.

"Baby?" I heard Dean's worried voice on the other end of the line, "Please, princess, come home."

"I am," I replied. Something in my guts was telling me it was true.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, it means a lot!


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